I Am not Superwoman

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In the last nine months, I’ve had a lot on my plate. With a full-time job, 5-year-old twins, preparing to PCS, and being pregnant, my life has felt a little bit like a gigantic goat rodeo. Crazy doesn’t even begin to describe it! Yet, somehow I’ve managed to keep my head above water. It’s a miracle, really, and if there’s one phrase that I’ve heard more in the last nine months than anything else, it would most definitely be “Wow, I don’t know how you do it! You must be Superwoman!”

Can I just make a confession about this?

The phrase, always meant kindly and complimentary, makes me feel a little weird.

Why? Well … because Superwoman is totally awesome, and I’m just me. I’m lucky to remember my own name half the time, and I certainly don’t feel very “super.” There are definitely days I wish I were a superwoman, and who wouldn’t want to be compared to such a lady?

But alas, Superwoman I am not. Here’s why:

Superwoman handles every situation with minimal stress.

Man, I envy her here. Having the ability to walk into utter chaos and not even break a sweat is a skill I sure wish I possessed.

When I walk into a stressful situation, I do not resemble Superwoman. I look more like Cruella de Vil, screaming about missing puppies — crazy eyes and all. Particularly when it comes to my children.

My 5-year-old twin girls have a knack for pushing every single button I have. I wish I could tell you that whenever they break something important, get into things they know they’re not supposed to touch, or regale me with a never-ending chorus of “Mommy, she hit me!” or “Mommy, she stole my toy” that I handle it with the grace of Superwoman. Sadly, this is not the case. Good ole Cruella comes out, and it usually ends with one or all three of us in tears.

Superwoman always knows the answers.

When evil minions try to take over the world, the path of action is obvious for Superwoman. She simply assesses the situation and determines a plan of action. She always seems to know exactly what to do to save the day.

Sigh. As a mom, I rarely feel like I have the answers. Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and children certainly don’t come with an instruction manual. I feel like I’m fumbling my way through it most of the time instead of excelling at it. In fact, I don’t think there’s been a single day in my children’s lives where I haven’t been consumed with worry and fear about the unknown. Not knowing the future and not having answers is really hard for a mom, and every day it feels like more and more tough questions come out of the woodwork.

Superwoman always looks put-together.

If it isn’t enough that she is out there kicking butts and taking names, Superwoman always looks amazing while doing it. Her makeup is on point, her hair is perfectly in place, and her size two figure looks fabulous in spandex.

Want to know what look I’m currently rocking? Maternity jeans and a hoodie (real pants don’t fit yet). I’ve got a fresh layer of spit-up down my cleavage thanks to my son (breastfeeding is hard ya’ll!), and my teeth have that fuzzy mosslike layer on them (Did I even brush them today?).

Between twin-wrangling and caring for my newborn, I don’t exactly have much time for primping. Heck, if I find a few minutes to take a shower, it feels like I won the lottery. And don’t get me started on spandex — the world’s most unflattering fabric.  

While Superwoman looks cute as a button flying around and saving the day in her little skirt, I’m about to head to Walmart looking like I haven’t showered or brushed my teeth in a few days … oh wait ….

Superwoman never has a bad day.

Saving lives and ridding the world of evil-doers certainly has a way of making one smile! Even when things get a little crazy and plans go slightly awry, Superwoman is ready to tackle the challenges with a smile and a cheesy one-liner. Things might not go as planned, but at the end of the day, the bad guy is vanquished and all is right with the world.

I wish I never had bad days, but I do. I lose my patience and my temper more times than I care to admit. I’m not a Pinterest mom, and sometimes I have no idea how to entertain my crazy children. I yell way too much. I don’t always spend my quality time with my kids in a quality way. I have bad days and the mom guilt that accompanies them is the worst.

I could keep going.

The list of reasons why I’m not Superwoman is long. But as I sit here typing this, I’ve had an important realization. No, I’m not Superwoman. But maybe—just maybe—I don’t want to be.

I’m not a perfect person, and I’m certainly not a perfect mother. I make mistakes with my children all the time, but I always try to correct and learn from them. I don’t have all the answers, but I pray for my children every night and choose to believe that not having all the answers isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I look and feel like a hot mess 99.9 percent of the time, but my kiddos don’t care as long as the warm hugs and couch snuggles never stop.

I’m not Superwoman. I don’t fight crime, battle villains, or fly. BUT I do kiss boo-boos. I cut the crusts off of all sandwiches. I sing silly songs and make funny faces. I give bear hugs and start tickle wars. I put extra marshmallows in the cereal, and, most importantly, I love my children with every fiber of my being.

I don’t always get it right and honestly, I don’t know how everything gets done on a daily basis. But I do know this: I’m not Superwoman, but I love my kids. And I’m really good at being their mom.

I’ll take that over being Superwoman any day.