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6 Reasons Why I Am a Terrible Military Spouse

 

Many of us have experienced that moment; you’re casually chatting with another military spouse, and she uses some crazy acronym you have never heard before. Rather than come across as totally clueless, you smile and nod. Little does she know, you have zero idea what she’s talking about and secretly have no intention of figuring it out. 

Welcome to the “terrible” military spouse club. You, my friend, are not the only member. I am a Marine wife of nearly 2 years and have 17 years of “Army brat” experience under my belt. Yet, in all that time, there are still things I don’t understand and flat out get annoyed by. 

Which brings me to 6 reasons why I am a terrible military spouse:

  1. I very much dislike the use of military time and acronyms.
    You won’t catch me scheduling a play date for 1500, and you will likely receive a blank stare when you start hitting me with the acronyms.
  2. No. I do not know what my husband’s MOS is. 
    I didn’t even remember which squadron he was in until about a year into our relationship. We’re all lucky I can even give a basic description of what he does, at all. 
  3. I fail at care packages. 
    OK, I really do try on this one. I attempt to make really cute and creative packages to send my husband during training and deployments but usually only one or two make it out in the mail. It is likely that even when they do get sent out, they don’t arrive in one piece. Chances are there is bottle of hot sauce that has exploded, leaving everything in the box smelling like a hot tamale. 
  4. I do my best not to get too attached to friends. 
    I try not to get too close to the people we meet along the way. It’s hard not to do, so I’ll admit that I have made some incredible friends. It doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking that the friends we have made in this lifestyle won’t be able to stick around long (even if the friendships do last a lifetime).
  5. I don’t want to move!
    It’s still early in my husband’s career, and I know the time will come, but I don’t want to PCS! From what I’ve seen, as soon as you get comfortable, you’re onto the next duty station. The packing, the planning, the expenses … no thank you.
  6. I complain, even though I “signed up for this.”
    I’m a complainer. I vent about deployments, duty, the long hours my husband works … I am aware that I knew what I was getting into when I fell in love with and married a Marine, but complaining makes me feel better! 

Now let me be honest here, I secretly LOVE being a military spouse. I love the lifestyle, adventure, and stability. I don’t take for granted the opportunities the military has opened up for our family and I take SERIOUS pride in my husband and what he does. When it comes down to it, we both made the decision for him to pursue this as a career and are happy with that choice. 

I think it’s safe to say that deep down, all of us feel like a terrible military spouse at one time or another. Maybe you feel guilt about complaining about that 24/hour duty. Or maybe you just wish people would use regular “civilian” time. Well you are not alone. 

What matters is that we all fly that flag and stand by our spouses. We can moan and groan about deployments, but we still step up at home and care for our family. The difference is that although we try to keep friends at an arms length, we get attached anyways and become family. YOU are not alone and in all seriousness you are NOT a terrible military spouse. 

Has there ever been a time when you did or thought something and then thought to yourself, “Wow, I am a terrible military spouse.”?

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12 Responses to 6 Reasons Why I Am a Terrible Military Spouse

  1. Avatar
    Rachel July 12, 2017 at 2:06 am #

    We all have our terrible mil spouse moments. One of my friends and I talked about how it is unfair that people say you “signed up for this.” Yes, I married someone in the military, and yes, I knew what could happen with deployments, TDYs, etc. However, no one truly prepares you for everything you may encounter! It’s so unfair to just chalk up all the little surprises to this excuse!

    • Avatar
      Jordan Wallace July 21, 2017 at 6:50 am #

      It’s extremely unfair! When my husband deployed during my pregnancy I kept saying this to myself too and then realized that I wasn’t being fair to myself. I was entitled to be sad and feel alone.

  2. Avatar
    Ambar July 17, 2017 at 7:59 am #

    Thanks for your honesty! It is so refreshing. It’s obvious that you are an awesome spouse! I’m sharing with my sister whose husband was in the Marines. 🙂

    • Avatar
      Jordan Wallace July 21, 2017 at 6:51 am #

      Thank you! I think we all just try our best (even if you’re not a military spouse)!

  3. Avatar
    Casey July 17, 2017 at 8:01 am #

    Military spouses always amaze me. Regardless of why you think you’re terrible at it, you’re secretly a rockstar and must be very strong to play that role. And of course, we should all be so proud of your spouse and have so much pride in what they do for us. I think even if we aren’t a military spouse, you can relate to some of these. I know I’m not always the most supportive either, but at the end of the day I’m very proud. This is a great article! Thanks for sharing 😊

    • Avatar
      Jordan Wallace July 21, 2017 at 6:52 am #

      I appreciate that! And yes I think both military and civilian wives can probably relate. Marriage is hard and everyone has days when they feel like they’re not doing their best.

  4. Avatar
    Helle July 17, 2017 at 8:02 am #

    My husband isn’t in the military so I can’t imagine what it’s like, but I think we all have ‘terrible spouse moments’ in regards to our husband’s work and maybe not knowing every little detail or not liking how much he travels for work or is gone from home. I really liked reading this and I’m glad you shared a little bit of your life as a military wife 🙂

    • Avatar
      Jordan Wallace July 21, 2017 at 6:54 am #

      That’s so true! I’m glad women from all walks of life can relate in one way or another.

  5. Avatar
    Toni July 21, 2017 at 3:38 am #

    Supporting your partner, being there for them. I think it makes you a great MM (military mom).

    Acronyms, time away. I don’t know if those would be things I would know if I was in your shoes. I’d probably make my own. 😂.

    I think your doing a great job.

    • Avatar
      Jordan Wallace July 21, 2017 at 6:58 am #

      I think as wives (both civilian and military) all we can do is try our best and love our husbands.

      Haha I admit I do use SOME acronyms but that’s only because I have no idea what they actually stand for so I can’t say the thing they are shortening 😂

  6. Heather Tabers
    Heather Tabers July 25, 2017 at 2:26 pm #

    Super cute post!

  7. Avatar
    Claudia McLaughlin August 3, 2017 at 12:23 pm #

    I love this so much! Thanks for making me feel so validated while giggling at the same time!!!

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