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I’m Too Tired To Be Woke: My Rant Against Obnoxious Slang

Slang has always been a part of language and culture. Most of us use slang on a daily basis without giving it a second thought. In fact, new slang words are added to the Oxford Dictionary each year because they have become so ingrained in our vernacular.

With the omnipresent media in our lives — visual, print, and social — I start to feel like certain words and phrases are everywhere. Frankly, many are not only overused, they are annoying.

Now before you accuse me of acting like Clint Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino and yelling at kids to get off my porch, please know that I use and like slang just as much as the next person. This is why I assembled a panel of experts (other Military Moms Blog contributors) to help me decide which words and phrases we would most like to see go by the wayside. 

This is from OnlyFatRabbit.com.

Totes

Are there really adults saying this in a non-ironic way? If so, they really should stop immediately or risk sounding like a tween girl. This goes for any and all iterations of this word such as “totes adorbs” or “totes magotes” (what does this even mean!?!),” etc.

Totes magotes is only acceptable if you have an actual tote bag containing a baby goat, in which case, awesome. I like a good tote bag and I love goats!

Literally

There is nothing wrong with the word literally. The problem is with its frequent misuse. So often when people say literally, what they really mean is figuratively. Somehow these two very different words have become interchangeable. For example, I will not literally jump off a bridge if you tell me I am “totes adorbs.”

Save literally for when it really applies. An example would be, “My child and this move are stressing me out so badly, I am literally going to eat this entire bag of Costco M&Ms.” Now that is a case for literally if ever there was one.

Bestie

What is my issue with bestie, you may ask? It is not because I am a friendless monster. My problem with bestie is it just gets thrown around waaaaay too casually.

People seem to have a lot of besties. I think we can all agree that this just does not add up.

A best friend is a BEST FRIEND. You only get one. Otherwise, it is just a good friend. For the record, I am totally OK with the term “BFF.” Have some respect for the title, man.

Side Hustle, Momtrepeneur, #bossbabe

These phrases were pretty universally disliked by our panel of judges. I know I personally see these all over my social media feed.

In all seriousness, I think the reason these are so annoying is that they add a caveat to the hard work women are doing and the businesses they are building. I have never heard of a man refer to himself as “#bossdude,” and I would never expect to.

You don’t have a side hustle—you have a part-time job. Kudos to you for contributing to your family financially, for following your passion, and for showing your kids that you can be a mom and own a business, too.

Never denigrate what you are doing, and you certainly don’t have to feminize being the boss. Work it! 

Rosé All Day

I think we can all agree that rosé is having a moment, and, well, it should. Rosé is a delicious and refreshing wine, especially during these hot summer months. I just feel like I have seen this phrase everywhere lately, and I think we need to set the record straight.

Guys, I want to live in world where drinking wine all day is possible. Alas, I am a parent and a grown-up, and I think it is generally frowned upon to be continually day-drunk in the real world.

Perhaps there was a time in our lives when this was possible (college??), but we all know youth is wasted on the young. In college, we most likely could not afford a nice bottle of wine. Even if we could, we were probably drinking vodka because someone convinced us that clear liquor had less calories (does anyone know if this is actually true??). So while rosé all day sounds nice, I am here to tell you it is probably just not possible. On this similar note, one military mom asks that we stop abbreviating Champagne to “champs” because Champagne is delicious and deserves better.

I saw this on a T-shirt at Teepublic.com.

Savage, Slay, etc.

When did we all become so hostile? I blame Game of Thrones. Seriously though, the other day I was walking through Target (of course) and passed what I can only assume was another stay at home mom, rocking a shirt that said “savage.” 

Sorry sister, you and I are both sipping our lattes on a Tuesday morning cruising the dollar spot. We are many things, but savage is not one of them.

Slay is another term I hear a lot these days. We are not ancient Romans fighting in gladiatorial games. The only thing most of us are slaying is a bottle of wine after bedtime. The only acceptable use of slay is if you are hanging out with Leslie Jones at the Olympics and chanting “USA! Slay all day!”

Epic

Talk about overuse. If you read through enough Facebook statuses and Instagram posts, you would think we are all living in a Homeric poem the way this word gets thrown around. The Iliad is an epic; your avocado toast is not.

Y Tho?

I blame Instagram for this one. I never saw this until it showed up as something you could add to your stories.

Are you really saving that much time by abbreviating this phrase? I would argue no. It is literally (correct usage) the same amount of syllables.

So, if you regularly find yourself using this phrase, it may be time to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, “y tho?”

All.The.Acronyms.

To be fair, our military spouse panel may be more sensitive to the overuse of acronyms than most because the military is full of them and they seem to dictate all aspects of our lives.

Nevertheless, here’s some of our least favorite: SMH, FOMO, and IDK.

One of our military spouses says she can never remember if SMH means shaking or smacking my head. Regardless, when we see this phrase over and over, it does in fact make us want to smack ourselves in the head.

We also decided that FOMO has been used to death and while we know what it means, many of us thought it looked “like foaming at the mouth.” Perhaps this is a side effect of the continual head smacking??

I first encountered IDK when one of my students wrote it as an answer on a quiz. I had to ask him what it meant (I don’t know in case you were unaware), and when he told me, I wanted to give him negative points on his paper. I would have preferred that he had just left the question blank.

This also is a T-shirt design from Teepublic.com.

Extra

I had made my peace with the term basic. Mostly because I am about as basic as they come. I like pumpkin spice, shiplap, and fall foliage. I believe in monogramming and theme parties.

It was nice to finally have a term that I can use to generalize myself and most of my friends, but now you are telling me there is another level of basic—I have to be extra, too?

It’s just too much!! I know guac is going to cost extra, but why does it have to also be extra?!

 

What I really learned from this research is that I am old and perhaps a bit salty.

What about you? What slang makes you triggered (am I using that right?)??

Chime in with your thoughts!

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3 Responses to I’m Too Tired To Be Woke: My Rant Against Obnoxious Slang

  1. Kelia Lewis September 10, 2018 at 7:42 am #

    On fleek. Can one be off fleek? What is a fleek exactly?

  2. Corinne Ables September 10, 2018 at 8:07 am #

    This is literally amazing 😉

  3. Mari September 15, 2018 at 7:00 am #

    I totes get all of these (Except that a side hustle is different from a part-time job. A side-hustle is more of a passion project that you eventually want to be your full-time hustle.) BUT “woke” does not mean that you use all the “hip” slang. To quote Wikipedia: “Woke is a political term of African American origin that refers to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice.[1] It is derived from the African American Vernacular English expression “stay woke”, whose grammatical aspect refers to a continuing awareness of these issues. Its widespread use since 2014 is a result of the Black Lives Matter movement.” I just think that the title is misleading and downplays the importance of being “woke.” You aren’t too tired to be woke – you are too tired to use silly popular slang.

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