The New Year brought with it a barrage of posts about New Year’s Resolutions all over social media—goals to improve who we are, how we look, how much money we make…
I get it. I really do.
I constantly strive to be a better person in a myriad of ways. I want to be able to do a pull-up. I want to read at least 40 books. I want to get more sleep and drink more water. I want to treat others with care and respect.
However, with this self-reflection and goal-setting, I came to a conclusion: there are countless things that I want to do eventually. But I am not in any sort of rush. I just want to take one day at a time.
However, I also realized that there are definitely some things that I am resolving NOT to give a darn about this year.
Here are my top five things that I refuse to care about this year:
What Others Think of Me
I was reading books to my four-year-old son last month. He was wearing fuzzy wolf ears and those black costume glasses with the nose and mustache attached. I laughed and said, “You are so weird.”
He looked right at me and with all seriousness replied, “Weirdness is coolness.”
And you know what? He is right. Being weird means that I am being authentic to myself. This year, I will wave my weird-lady flag and refuse to care how I compare to other people.
It is a big election year. People will have their talons out ready to gouge out the eyes of anyone who disagrees. I will not.
I will not engage. I will ignore anyone who does engage. I will quietly research candidates and vote using my conscience as my guide. As for the battles raging on social media… I will just keep scrolling. Since when did a post on social media change anyone’s mind anyway?
I will only care about people who put effort into me the same way I put effort into them. I will not care about people who seem indifferent to my company. I will not chase after people in a desperate attempt to make them like me. Not everyone has to like me. (RIGHT? Even if I really want them to like me?) I will not waste precious time trying to force chemistry in relationships that just aren’t worth my time or theirs.
I will not lay awake at night worrying and fretting about mistakes that I have made in the past. If I have made amends, apologized, and done my best to repair wrongs that have been inflicted by my words or actions, then I will forgive myself. I will not continue to lay awake at night berating myself for things that happened last week, last month, last year. Instead, I will try to better. That is all I can do, and I refuse to care about things I cannot change.
I will not insist on perfection. Not in my children. Not in the cleanliness of my home. Not in my husband. Not in my job. Because in all honesty, perfection does not exist. So I refuse to care about it.
Although I will set high standards and expectations for myself, I know I will fall short occasionally. I will not care about the times I fall short because I know I will have learned a lot in the process. I will remember the same for other people in my life.
We are not perfect. We are only humans trying to do the best we can. Now repeat this to yourself again and again.
My approach to the New Year is a little different, but I feel that this is going to help me in 2020. I will always want to be a better person. But this is a marathon, not a sprint. And I know that these are just five things I can and will refuse to care about this year.