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Murphy’s Law of Deployment: A Poem

You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, right – anything that can go wrong, will?

Well, we here at Military Mom’s Blog recognize another fundamental law of the universe … Murphy’s Law of Deployment.

Anything that can go wrong during a deployment, will.

We would exclaim, “Y’all don’t even know!!” but you totally, totally do. The minute your military member is out the door, the baby poop starts hitting the proverbial fan. All manner of preposterous things begin to go wrong. Sometimes things get so bad, you wonder if people would even believe you if you relayed the outrageous antics.

Well, we believe you sister, because we’ve experienced it all. So please enjoy this silly, ridiculous, crazy poem comprised SOLELY of things that have actually happened to our contributors during a deployment.

Ya can’t make this stuff up!


We’ve had cereal for dinner

at least three times this week.

There’s laundry in every basket,

dishes are piled in the sink.

 

The dry shampoo has taken over,

I’ve had this mascara on for days.

Deployment signs are everywhere

in a hundred different ways.

 

We all know how it goes,

the second that they leave.

Things that were just fine start to fall apart;

for months there will be no reprieve.

 

The basement will inevitably flood,

the appliances will all die.

One by one, each and every kid  

will somehow contract pink eye.

 

The dog will fall tragically ill;

you’ll have to carry him into the vet.

“Stung by a scorpion?!” he’ll say.

Can’t say I’ve heard that one yet!

 

The fish you’ve had for years will croak.

The hamster will bite the dust.

You should probably buy stock in Kleenex.

Plenty of sanitizer is a must!

 

Because there will be SO MUCH throw-up,

you won’t know what to do;

throw-up in the car seats,

even throw-up in a shoe!

 

And just when you think

the whole family is doing fine,

the car will break down during rush hour

in the middle of I-9.

 

Or the garage door will fall

smack on top of your van.

And just when it seems like nothing more can happen,

you realize, oh yes it can!

 

There will be an infestation

of one kind or another.

One kid will get lice,

and then give it to his brother.

 

And don’t think for one second

that your home sweet home is safe.

Because there are mice and snakes and spiders

hiding in every dark space.

 

Just as you throw your hands up and think,

we need to get out of this place,

the military complies

And says “You’ve got 30 days!”

 

“No problem!” you say with an eye roll,

I’m only 8 months preggo.

I love moving by myself,

why not do a full-DIY? Let’s go!

 

When you finally arrive,

they’ll ask for your ID.

You’ll realize you lost it.

Seems about right to me.

 

Because…

 

It’s Murphy’s Law of deployment,

that everything will go wrong.

But as long as it doesn’t kill us,

we’ll just say it makes us strong!

So there you have it folks, the deployment struggle is real. What’s the craziest/worst/most ridiculous thing that has happened to you while your spouse was away? I’ll share mine if you share yours 😉 !

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3 Responses to Murphy’s Law of Deployment: A Poem

  1. Brandi Herr April 13, 2018 at 7:08 am #

    My house was struck by lightening! Every appliance as well as the air conditions and garage door opener were completely fried!

    • Christian Knutson April 17, 2018 at 1:14 pm #

      Oh. My. That’s a doozy! I hope you had great insurance, but even so, what a pain to replace everything!!

  2. Lori April 13, 2018 at 9:44 pm #

    For months One child kept peeing on the floor
    And graffiti on the walls (chair, dresser, and more)
    It was anxiety and stress
    It was our third move and we were all a mess.

    Little brother refused to potty train
    And I was merely nursing
    The night time sleeplessness
    Made me feel like cursing

    Moving in with parents for the year
    Seemed like it was the best call
    Having my very own grandmother there
    Telling me I had no idea at all.

    The have and verbal spare
    We’re so hard to choke down
    Only when I realized Kindergarten started earlier
    In our next pcs town

    We moved again
    With a uhaul trailer our main HHG still in storage
    Only for that dang trailer to have a flat
    In none other than Bethlehem, PA – made it less horrid.

    Dad comes back were glad he’s “home”
    NY state of mind
    Just 30 days the chatter suggested he’d again be gone.

    The dishwasher broke 4 times.
    They told me to buy my parts on eBay.
    The toilet leaked through the ceiling
    The garage door broke
    I blew snow from the snowblower into my own coat
    What do we say?

    We’re Army strong
    And you can’t make this stuff up
    Daddy works long hours when he’s away
    Resilience? Courage? Yes to all of that. I’d raise a glass of vino but all that’s clean is this paper cup.

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