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What I would tell my younger military spouse self

To the New Military Spouse: I See You

To the new military spouse: I see you. You are standing by the wall at a squadron function. You alternate between timid and brazen, depending on your personality. Your eyes flit over every person there. You stay close to your significant other, even as the jargon confuses you and work conversations dominate the gathering. You […]

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The Walking Wounded

Walking Wounded: Breaking the Silence and Stigma of Abuse from PTSD and TBI

“One foot in front of the other. That’s it. Just keep going.”  I’m mentally coaxing myself. Numb. Dazed. The walking wounded. “Please don’t bump me,” I’m silently pleading with the strangers who I pass in the supermarket as the bruises on my arms and shoulders throb with a reminder of this morning’s events. My head […]

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You Told Me You Were Deploying Today

You told me you were deploying today. I wasn’t that surprised. It comes with the job. You were due. We were due. It was time. We’ve been so fortunate for the several years without one, though time away was still frequent. When you told me, I immediately went to that place. That place of preparation. […]

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military spouse

Grit and Heart (and Also Quite Smart): This Is What Military Spouses Are Made Of

Military families make up less than 0.5 percent of the American population. Though we have been at war since 9/11, few Americans have served in the military or have a direct link to it. There is a large gap between civilians and the military. Even more than the active duty member, a military spouse must […]

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Military Retirement Terrifies Me

Most people hear the word “retirement” and think of something that happens later in life. Generally, it is a time where one stops working and lives off of a company pension, retirement plan, or savings. It evokes images of rest, relaxation, and in truth, old age.  In the military, retirement takes on an entirely different […]

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military spouse

It’s OK to Be A Military Spouse

You are a military spouse.  You’ll meet more people during your spouse’s years of services than you can count. You’ll meet superiors and subordinates. You’ll meet classmates, wingmen, and crew members. You’ll meet new spouses, older spouses, and single military members. You’ll fit in some groups, and you won’t fit in others. Sometimes you’ll be the […]

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the woman before me

The Woman Before Me

I find the letter in a drawer while trying to KonMari our bedroom. The handwriting on the envelope is measured and hopeful and dotted with hearts, and my own heart flutters as I unfold the notebook paper inside. The writer is young and ardent. “It won’t be easy,” she says. “I know that. But we’ll […]

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